I mostly am doing this post for people interested in any sort of exchange program, and also because I feel like I haven't talked about how I am doing here. I state the physical things I see and such, but there is a mental and emotional side to all this. So after gathering myself together and organizing my thoughts, I've managed to prepare this. Hope you enjoy!
Living in Host Family
My mind has pretty much trained itself to keep watch of everything, even small things. For example, if one day my host brother gives a frown when I kick a nearby night stand, I almost always know something is up. I then go back and reflect. In a sense, I'm constantly adjusting myself to the environment. Eventually though, I believe I will be comfortable and everything will come natural. I'm starting to get down a lot of ideas that are Thai, rather than American. Now I avoid doing things with my feet without really thinking about it culturally or whatever. I hope to be able to have this automatic sense of right with everything here, but only time will tell if that can happen.
School
Most of the time, I absolutely love school. I feel like I have a purpose and my mind gets active. I also get to explore the true culture of Thailand, rather than just the culture of my host family. I interact with tons of students who each have their own way of doing things, so this helps me to establish when I'm doing something wrong in Thai society. For instance, I noticed a lot of the students were taking off school for mild medical problems. At first, I thought of them as lazy or something, but I quickly learned that it's just another part of the culture. I might look down on it, but that doesn't mean I'm right.
On the other hand, school can be Hell though. I'm not the person who likes to always be in the spotlight. I prefer to have my moments of fame and then move on to normal life. But when you're the exchange student, everyone treats you like a celebrity...every day. This becomes a problem when I happen to wake up on the wrong side of the bed and decide today I'm not happy. These days are filled with stress and anger, yet I still manage to put on a smile, so I can't say I'm suffering too much, heh. But like I said before, there are more days where school is awesome! Woot!
Adapting
Oh my God, if I learned anything here in Thailand it's how to adapt. When you're still in your home country in the dreaded "paperwork" phase, you're thinking you can adapt to anything. However, do not let your mind fool you. Sometimes you have to adapt to something you didn't expect to have to change. Now all of a sudden you feel like you're stripped of your being and that you can't be yourself. I will tell you, this is completely normal and you will get used to it. Like I mentioned in the Host Family section, I'm starting to do things automatically. And things I complained about doing before are now part of my daily routine. Overall, I'd say you can never prepare yourself for how much adapting you'll do. You just have to go willing to adapt to some extent. But just remember your limit will be exceeded.
Homesickness
Every Thai I know has asked me if I feel homesick. And I always reply with "No." Though the real answer is a tad more complicated than that. While I don't feel a burning desire to go home, there are things in America I do miss and really wish I could have right this instant. I just don't go home yet because I'm more motivated to stay here than to go back. I really want to finish this year to the end!
Distance Away from Home
To me, America feels like a distant memory. Something I did a long time ago that I enjoyed, but now it's over. Okay, I realize it's not over. I'm going back, but that's just my mindset. Although sometimes America feels like next door. I can't believe I'm all the way here in Asia and my family is on the other side of the world!
Relationships Here
It makes me surprised when I think about how all the people I'm best friends with here, I've only known for a few months now. And yet I've lived with them and gotten so close that they feel like friends I've known for the longest time. I think there's something connecting us, most certainly.
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