Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Why do Thai People do This?

This post is not a rant nor an insult to Thai people. In fact, it's exactly what the title entails. Simply put, there are some things the Thais do here that I can't seem to find a reason for. In most cases I get a pretty good idea of what went through a Thai person's mind when deciding to do something one way and not another. To bring up an example, Thai women do not use tampons. Absolutely none of them. You go to the Thai grocery stores and find all the menstrual care products nothing except pads. Tampons don't exist! Hah! For those of you scratching your heads as to how anyone can justify this, allow me to let you in on Asian sexual culture. Put simply, most Asian people, Thai included, believe a woman can loose her virginity by using tampons. Unlike in the states, virginity here is seen as more sacred so women do not even want to risk losing it accidentally to such things as a tampon.

But today I'm here to talk about the things Thais do that I cannot seem to find a good reason for. If you happen to know the reason for these actions, by all means let me know and I will edit it into the post. Let me make myself clear though. I am not complaining about these actions, only stating they exist. By now I have gotten used to these things and just accept them with no hassle, so I really don't mind that this is Thai culture. So with that out of the way, let's begin!

Why do Thais - Think Your Stomach is Endless?

It happens all the time. I've just eaten the biggest dinner of my life and am so stuffed I am struggling against puking. When all of a sudden here comes a Thai friend handing me a huge slice of cake. And it's not like this friend didn't just see me eat 30 plates of rice. No, they are fully aware of how much I eat, yet they always insist I eat what they offer right then and there.

At first, this was hard for me to accept. However the trick I learned to get around it is to eat less at big meals to prepare for extra snacks. I only fill my stomach up about halfway and then say I'm full. That way if someone does give me food, I'll be able to eat it. And if they don't then I get to loose a bit of weight, heh.

Why do Thais - Always Say They're Fat?

This mostly applies to Thai girls, but I've seen guys pick out each other by saying one is fat...even when that person is the closest thing to skeleton. At lunch, my friends sometimes say they're not going to eat lunch because they are too fat. And if any of you have seen Thai girls lately, you'll see some of them are the skinniest human beings who could ever walk the Earth.

My friend, Jill's and my theory is that it's a way to fish for compliments. When someone says they think they're fat, everyone's initial reaction is to tell them they are not and to say how beautiful they are instead. Of course, that's just a theory. This still perplexes me each day...

Why do Thais - Not Learn Anything in School?

Before anyone gets angry, allow me to speak first. I am not saying Thais do not care about school. No, they certainly want those good test grades and such. However, the problem seems that they don't learn anything in school. Seriously, all Thai students (who have wealthy families) have extra tutoring, including my host sister. When I asked her why she goes to so much tutoring, she told me it's because the studies in school are not enough to pass the tests. Which means all the studying they do at school is completely useless. So...then what is the point of going to school?

Furthermore, I often see students on their phones during class as well as copying each others' tests and homework. Yet the teachers never do anything about it even when it's done in plain view. I can see why Thai students don't learn much in school. I just think my main question is why do they care about tests, but don't put in much effort? I really hope someone knows the answer to this one, hah.

Why do Thais - Start to Work so Late in Life?

Maybe I'm a little biased since I started my first job at just 14-years-old, but the Thais here don't even begin to work until they're like 25. One could argue that it's because of all the college they have to go through before they can get a decent job. However, in the states teenagers are still expected to get some sort of job, no matter how small, even when they're in college. Unless of course their parents are absolutely rich.

A theory for this I have is that Thai parents highly believe in supporting their children for as long as possible, no matter the cost. In the U.S. though we tend to think that making your child get a job to earn their own money and such helps to teach them independence, slowly. I can only imagine being 25, having your first job, and looking at moving out of your parents' home all at once. Would be some scary stuff there.

Why do Thais - Communicate Indirectly?

Say you forget to do the dishes one day and instead of telling you so, your mom chooses to tell your next door neighbor about your behavior. This is how Thai communication works. And personally, I don't quite see how it's effective. I understand it's all part of the culture and I am quite used to it by now. However, I don't see how one can think it's an effective way to communicate. Half of my problems could be solved instantly if the one offended just told me right away, but nope I gotta play the guessing game.

One thing I've done to get around this is to instead be the one who talks directly. Instead of waiting for my host parents to tell me what to do, I ask them first what I should do. By at least showing initiative, I make them happy and it works out fine. So if you ever go on an exchange to a culture with this kind of communication, just remember to be the direct one because your host family will likely not be.

Why do Thais - Worry so Much About Their Reputation?

Perhaps I'm a bit of a rebel, but I never knew anyone in my life that seriously cared about their reputation as much as the Thais. It's like here if you do one little thing wrong everyone expects you to care about it like you just committed murder. Which being a foreigner, I usually can't bring myself to care if everyone knows I draw doodles in my notebook.

I think I know why this is though. Thais LOVE to gossip. It's one of the side affects of indirect communication. The smallest of things are passed around to all different kinds of people. Things that most Americans wouldn't really think of as a great act of horror. So I guess for this one I kind of do understand not wanting to loose your reputation. But I have a feeling there's another reason I haven't found quite yet.

Why do Thais - Point Out the Obvious?

It's not secret. I'm not the skinniest person in existence. Yet for some reason Thai people seem to think I am not already aware of this myself. It doesn't really bother me, but whenever someone says, "Hey Miki, you should loose weight." I feel like saying, "Um, really? You think I haven't figure that out?"

I am really lost on this one. Especially because Thais normally choose to gossip about such things, so it's weird when they actually do point something out it's so obvious even a fly would know so, haha.

Why do Thais - Get so Jealous?

This might only be the case for a few people, but it's only ever occurred in Thailand so I'm calling it a Thai thing. So here's an instance. You just won a million dollars. Your friend is jealous so she proceeds to make your life horrible as much as she can. She tells everyone you're evil, steals your stuff, and in general makes sure to let you know she no longer likes you. In the states, sure people feel jealous. But we tend to not let it take over our own minds and try to ruin someone's existence for our own benefit.

However, this is what some Thai people do. Maybe it's just a personality thing...

4 comments:

  1. Hi Miki. I'm just a Thai passerby.

    Why do Thais - Think Your Stomach is Endless? >>> Big LOL. Even I'm Thai I don't know. My advice is that you just simply said to your friend "I'm full" Or may be you can tell them "I'm on diet"

    Why do Thais - Always Say They're Fat? >>> Thais just too crazy about weight (or their body) in just a few year. I mean I'm a guy in my 40 and during the time when I was a teenager 20 years a go, I and my friends (both boys and girls) didn't care tooooo much about gaining weight like kids today. I think may be because of the media that brainwashed teenagers to be "White and skinny, the others will look at you as a beautiful one". BTW, I also agree with your theory.

    Why do Thais - Not Learn Anything in School? >>> This is a different culture. Again, when I was a kid, we seldom took special courses. But right now the kids took a lot of courses outside school because they want to pass the test, and when they say "test" deep down they don't mean "school test" but they mean "accepting in a university test". Thai culture give more importance with university degree than western cultures. Right now the competition to gain an entrance to a university is more intense than that during my time, so the kids nowadays study a lot or may be too much. Beside, most of this tutoring have better technics in teaching (from what I heard from kids). Anyway I agree with you that just pay attention in your classroom is enough to pass the exam, even with high competition like today.

    Phew! You have a lot of questions about Thai. Lemme take a break....

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  3. I switch to type in note pad because it's easier for me to answer you question which need a long explanation. OK. Let's continue...

    Why do Thais - Start to Work so Late in Life? >>> Actually this question is related to the previous question. It's different culture. In Thai culture parents would take care of theirs kids to let them concentrate only about studying. After the kids graduated and got work, the kids would take care their parents back. (Hence the relationship in Thai family is more related that those of westerner. You would rarely see an old parents left alone in the nursing home during their 80-90 because even when their kids leave their house in 25 as you said, they think it's their duty to take care of them. So finally when they got a good job or their own family, they would take their parents with them and take good care of them till they pass away.) If you ask me, I would say that this kind of social culture is the same as in Japanese, Chinese and most of Asian culture. However, I found that nowadays more Thais kids started to work to get extra money sine they are 15-16. Some sell stuffs on the net or in a market like walking street in Chiang Mai, which is a good thing in my opinion.

    Why do Thais - Communicate Indirectly? >>> Because we don't want any direct conflict. Again, this is common in Asian cultures. Many Asian cultures, for example Thai and Japanese, avoid direct conflict between people. This is really different from Westerners. Many business men from the west contacted with Japanese during 80's have this conflict too. The reason is -most of the time- direct conflict make the other LOOSE FACE, and that mean disrespect or even disdain others. In Western society you don't have face culture like Asian. So for may Asian culture the way to avoid or prevent another from loosing his/her face is trough this indirect communication. Those who make mistake would know that he or she make a wrong thing by themselves and correct them.

    Your solution to deal with your host is good. If you cannot interpret their indirect communication, don't wait for them, ask them.

    Why do Thais - Worry so Much About Their Reputation? >>> In short, the answer is above. FACE. And again, it's not just Thais, many Asian culture have this culture too. In sociology, most of Asian culture was an agricultural society, right? And you cannot grow or do anything in agricultural society alone. It would be really hard to feed a heard of cow, to plow a rice field all by yourself, etc. That's why members need to be accepted in the society more than Westerners, hence they would care about his or her reputation, the way he or she be looked in a society. This thing ingrain in our cultures for hundred years. It's hard to change.

    Why do Thais - Point Out the Obvious? >>> Most of Westerner would think "None of your business" but, believe me, Thais don't think its that way. If ones think another is in his or her circle of friendship, they would point out something obviously. Also, in western culture, gaining weight (or should I say any physical appearances?) is personal stuff, but in Thais is not that way. For example, gaining weight, we talk, or sometime even make joke, and we don't take it seriously. Again, this is a difference in culture.

    Why do Thais - Get so Jealous? >>> I think this is personality thing as you said. Most of my friends, male or female, haven't show any jealous or envy at all, and I know then for years! Unlucky for you that you met this kind of people.

    Wow, lost of you question deal with cultural differences which are REALLY hard to explain. Anyway just keep an open mind and enjoy your life. You can't judge people based on the different basis. Doing that is like using two different scales to measure a thing. One say in yard, other say in meter. There will be no conclusion. :)

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